Comfort

“[The God of All Comfort] Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.”

- 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

Some people close to my heart have commented once in awhile that they admire how "strong" I can be or how "giving" I am even when faced with great difficulty, pain, or suffering. These casual praises have always made me a little embarrassed and, truthfully, a little proud. Yet, I must now lay down myself and confess that if I, alone, tried to tank the blows that life hits me with and still remain gentle, giving and compassionate, I would probably have gone insane at the first struggle.

No. Human nature, by definition, does not allow me to be selfless. I often struggle with the ideas of "what I want" and "what I should do because it is right". Often times, the struggle becomes very intense, especially when I feel justified in what I want. Let me explain a very easy example:
If a person came up to me and kicked me in my business zone, my natural reaction would be to retaliate, after I stopped rolling on the ground of course. I would want to hurt them as much as they have hurt me. Or, at the very least, I would wish to avoid this person at all costs for as long as the memory of it sticks in my mind.

Yet, somewhere in my mind, I know that inflicting pain only makes things worse. A voice calls out to me, and morally, I feel compelled to kneel and pray for this person. Perhaps try and speak to them, perhaps even appologize. To many, this may seem like an overly pious thing to accomplish. They stand correct. If the above scenario truly did occur, I know for sure my selfish side would occur first 9 times out of 10. Yet, I am happy and glad that I can at least do the other 10%.

The example stands as an extreme example. Sometimes, the action is not a kick, but rather could be simply a friend or coworker taking advantage of my personality again and again, until its started to wear me down. This makes giving and loving a sacrifice of my dignity and sometimes, it really strikes me, as if I had been kicked.

Yet, I thank God, for like the quote said earlier, I do not have to rely on my own strength for this! I realize now that I am, actually, quite weak. Had not God renewed me every time, I would not have the energy or strength to be able to do the things that the Bible commands me (to Love everyone). I imagine that I am like a tank of sorts, like the ones in RPG games. I, myself, could maybe take some hits, yet if I am continuously pummeled I would die very fast and easily. Yet, God is my Healer (who, evidently, never runs out of mana). Thus, I can be strong.

I find God to be more and more marvelous every day. I thank God for lending me His strength, for I am weak, but He is strong. I thank God for giving me my wonderful friends, for showing me all sides of the people I know, and for still allowing me to love everyone of them more and more. I thank God for forgiving me of my sins, for allowing me to be free of negativity towards others, for letting me shielded in Him.

Marvelous.