The holiday season has always been a season of giving in my heart. Though when I was little, I could not grasp how to achieve this concept, I had always endeavored to give to my loved ones by not taking, and not asking for anything. Now, as my thoughts and ideas have matured over the years, a small happiness grows in my heart as I realize I can now not only understand the subtleties of the holiday spirit, but give back to my loved ones.
It has been a pleasure to see the warm smiles of my friends and family, and the special look in their eyes when we make a connection born out of love and giving. For me, these precious moments will be treasured in my heart. Christmas will always remain my favorite time of year if we can create these moments year after year.
My sincere wish for everyone this holiday season is to feel the warmth of a friend or family member. We remember God's Gift to us during this time, and I hope that we pass on the joy of giving to everyone in our lives. I know that usually greed and selfishness consumes much of the world. Yet, if we can have this time, at least, for people to give and share, I will always remain hopeful for this world's future.
Let us all try and bring just a little bit more joy to the world.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Monday, December 08, 2008
Friendship - Noun
The origin of the word friend comes from the Old English word friund, meaning "to love".
It looks like another quarter shall soon pass, and like usual, the days fly by with a seemingly unsurmountable mountain of things to do and consider. Yet, there are moments where I can take a deep breath and reflect by myself. And once again, it looks like the time has come for me to wake up from this happy daze I had allowed myself to enjoy and walk once more with confidence into this uncertain future.
As I take a look around, I cannot help but smile to myself when I see the faces of my friends. They have such determined faces, even those that would not admit it. With all of their passion they rush headlong to face such obstacles as conquering their next final and worrying over when or how they shall return safe and sound to their respective homes. Even their mild complaints and gentle whining brings a little warmth to my heart. Of course, I do not take delight in their frustrations, but I am happy to see that each and every one of them are trying so hard.
Seeing them and being with them always allows me, for a moment, a small escape from all the heavy weights that I know one must carry. My friends have been a wonderful reprieve and a refreshing solace, giving me a new sight and a brighter perspective.
I have often pondered over the meaning of friendship, to grasp a solid form of it. Yet, I suppose what I had always been stuck on was not really the meaning of friendship, but rather, the form of it as an expression of love.
After being away from my family for almost a year, except for visits that never last more than a week at maximum, I had started to feel a little bit more hollow than I had felt before. With that, and previous events like the splitting up of my best friends since high school, and suffering a break up, I had felt more and more alone and isolated. My ideals that I had from before seemed broken. The golden rules of friendship seemed far from being reciprocated and I had seemed to walk just by myself.
I guess I craved love.
I suppose I had tried to bandage this empty feeling with such defective salves as throwing myself into school, flirtatious encounters, projects and later, work. I suppose it was one of many reasons on why I had yearned for a relationship so much toward the end of last school year, and even through the summer. Yet, something changed as I noticed my new friendships growing. Though, I had dared not to hope such friendships would become as strong as the ones that I had lost, I had thought to immerse myself in their world, at least as a simple mask to hide all my feelings and worries. Or, so I had thought.
Now, in the light of blossoming friendships, true and unyielding, I have allowed myself to hope more and more. Though the experiences are different from the ones that I have lost, and though sometimes their naivety and singularly pure mindset seem altogether too innocent a world for me, I now find myself treasuring all my friends in simple love. They are wonderful people. And though I know that such emotional attachment and investment will mean that if anything happens, it will hurt all the more. Yet, I cannot help but place my faith and trust in them and allow this vulnerability.
I smile to myself, and think that though many of them probably do not understand me, or what all my actions may imply, I find it amazing that they have invariably become closer and closer to me.
Yes, and now, once again, I have a little bit more strength to face the things I need to face. I had put off these responsibilities for just a little while, because I wanted some time to be locked in memory. I wanted some altogether wonderful and heartfelt moments to be stored away in my heart, without being marred by some ugly, shaking uncertainty. And they have supplied me with them in such ample amounts. I thank God for watching over me, and allowing for this to happen.
Now, I have to focus and find the resolve to keep moving forward. With the shaking economy, my mother has lost her job. And once again, I am preparing to battle for my position in school, despite doubts of what I wish to do in the future. Though God has supplied a way for me to sustain myself and school with a job, the pressure now mounts little by little. Added to the burdens of being a pillar of emotional stability for my family and an exemplary good son for my dad, sometimes cooking and cleaning seem like arduous tasks.
Yet, I know I am growing and I am alive. And most of all, I celebrate each day because I have my precious and wonderful friends. Nothing ever wearies me if its them. Their smiles have always made every effort for them worth it, and their comfort makes all my worries seem much lighter.
Though I know not what the future may hold for me, I have God leading me, and my friends always beside me. What more can I ask for?
This will always be sustenance enough for my body, spirit, and soul.
It looks like another quarter shall soon pass, and like usual, the days fly by with a seemingly unsurmountable mountain of things to do and consider. Yet, there are moments where I can take a deep breath and reflect by myself. And once again, it looks like the time has come for me to wake up from this happy daze I had allowed myself to enjoy and walk once more with confidence into this uncertain future.
As I take a look around, I cannot help but smile to myself when I see the faces of my friends. They have such determined faces, even those that would not admit it. With all of their passion they rush headlong to face such obstacles as conquering their next final and worrying over when or how they shall return safe and sound to their respective homes. Even their mild complaints and gentle whining brings a little warmth to my heart. Of course, I do not take delight in their frustrations, but I am happy to see that each and every one of them are trying so hard.
Seeing them and being with them always allows me, for a moment, a small escape from all the heavy weights that I know one must carry. My friends have been a wonderful reprieve and a refreshing solace, giving me a new sight and a brighter perspective.
I have often pondered over the meaning of friendship, to grasp a solid form of it. Yet, I suppose what I had always been stuck on was not really the meaning of friendship, but rather, the form of it as an expression of love.
After being away from my family for almost a year, except for visits that never last more than a week at maximum, I had started to feel a little bit more hollow than I had felt before. With that, and previous events like the splitting up of my best friends since high school, and suffering a break up, I had felt more and more alone and isolated. My ideals that I had from before seemed broken. The golden rules of friendship seemed far from being reciprocated and I had seemed to walk just by myself.
I guess I craved love.
I suppose I had tried to bandage this empty feeling with such defective salves as throwing myself into school, flirtatious encounters, projects and later, work. I suppose it was one of many reasons on why I had yearned for a relationship so much toward the end of last school year, and even through the summer. Yet, something changed as I noticed my new friendships growing. Though, I had dared not to hope such friendships would become as strong as the ones that I had lost, I had thought to immerse myself in their world, at least as a simple mask to hide all my feelings and worries. Or, so I had thought.
Now, in the light of blossoming friendships, true and unyielding, I have allowed myself to hope more and more. Though the experiences are different from the ones that I have lost, and though sometimes their naivety and singularly pure mindset seem altogether too innocent a world for me, I now find myself treasuring all my friends in simple love. They are wonderful people. And though I know that such emotional attachment and investment will mean that if anything happens, it will hurt all the more. Yet, I cannot help but place my faith and trust in them and allow this vulnerability.
I smile to myself, and think that though many of them probably do not understand me, or what all my actions may imply, I find it amazing that they have invariably become closer and closer to me.
Yes, and now, once again, I have a little bit more strength to face the things I need to face. I had put off these responsibilities for just a little while, because I wanted some time to be locked in memory. I wanted some altogether wonderful and heartfelt moments to be stored away in my heart, without being marred by some ugly, shaking uncertainty. And they have supplied me with them in such ample amounts. I thank God for watching over me, and allowing for this to happen.
Now, I have to focus and find the resolve to keep moving forward. With the shaking economy, my mother has lost her job. And once again, I am preparing to battle for my position in school, despite doubts of what I wish to do in the future. Though God has supplied a way for me to sustain myself and school with a job, the pressure now mounts little by little. Added to the burdens of being a pillar of emotional stability for my family and an exemplary good son for my dad, sometimes cooking and cleaning seem like arduous tasks.
Yet, I know I am growing and I am alive. And most of all, I celebrate each day because I have my precious and wonderful friends. Nothing ever wearies me if its them. Their smiles have always made every effort for them worth it, and their comfort makes all my worries seem much lighter.
Though I know not what the future may hold for me, I have God leading me, and my friends always beside me. What more can I ask for?
This will always be sustenance enough for my body, spirit, and soul.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)