How good is their vision?

20/20?

An epiphany came to me today, as I struggled to bridge the gap of two pairs of people - both content to shrink into their own personal worlds. I dislike being the leader of a group. It's a lonely position, and the one that requires most sacrifice. Rather than joining one couple over another, and having fun cuddling with the people I enjoy most, I had to share my time, lest the other group becomes jealous or alienated. In the subsequent back and forth walk, my ankle gave out. I found it funny and amusing, though sad. Tearing groups, however, seem like the least of these thoughts.

I suppose, I had felt more like a fifth wheel than anything. The two pairs of people, though all friends in name of relationship, hardly acted like so. Though I can understand it, I cannot help but feel alienated myself. I probably should have removed myself earlier in the evening. The energy to remain happy and positive, and to entertain others, simply was hard to come by. Oh well, I do not think anyone saw this struggle of mine. It seemed like everyone had a good time.

I just have a hope that one day, someone considers my happiness. I hope that one day, someone can see the little things I do and appreciates me for such things. Though, at the moment, I do not believe such people exist. At least not of the female gender. Ah well, one can still hope.

Speaking of courtship, I had found that I actually have pretty high standards for those I wish to consider for a relationship. They'd have to like me for the right reasons for one. For the others, well... I suppose it is improper for me to say it on a site such as this.

At the moment, I find myself wondering a few things, and doubting alot of my previous judgements. I hope I am proven wrong, though that is unlikely.

Which brings me back to the question: How good is their vision to see all that I see, and all that I hide?