I'm English and American

As a writer, I'm quite peculiar about grammar. Yet, recently, I realized I constantly switch between English grammar and nuances and American grammar and nuances.

I use words like toward and towards or while and whilst interchangeably, sometimes even in the same article or story. It seems to be a trend that as I get more enraptured by my story, the more English I become.

I find this both strange and annoying. Strange because I have only ever learned American grammar (if they even teach that in schools) and annoying because it breaks the consistency in my writing that allows for immersion. This discovery has also lead me to be much more paranoid about my writing and less focused on storytelling. Needless to say, I am very distraught.

I have a theory though about why I display this odd trait. All of my favorite books I have ever loved to read have been by British authors, or a distinctively English translation of some other author. This, added with the fact that grammar has never ever been drilled into me by my school teachers ("just write what sounds right"), probably produced in me this strange twist. Thus, when I begin to write feverishly, I draw more heavily on the books that had inspired me.

However, due to this, I am very very upset. This means that I have to go back and edit every one of my ongoing pieces for one unified style over the other. As well, at this moment in time, I cannot decide which style I prefer. Personally, I like the slightly more decorated style of British grammar, but readers would probably prefer the efficiency of American style, for it is less distracting.

Ugh. The perfectionist in me is now screaming.