My Sonata

Quiet, I gaze through the night from my balcony. The world is calm. The twinkling of the city's lights smiles to me in silence. The silence resonates from every object. They make a music that only I can hear. The whirr from a nearby car disturbs the silent orchestra. Out of place, the engine sounds out of tune.

It passes.

Relaxed peace returns.

Far away, I can see the night-shift cars and buses pass on the highway bridge. Far too far, they travel without a sound, not knowing my existence. If I shift my gaze, I can peer into the lake. Its soft waves reflect the city's lights, making the surface a happy mask. The city stands behind the lake in compliment. They make a graceful pair. The lake's soft waters holds no light of its own, and so, the vivid city lights dazzles in the lake's place.

And all the while the silent orchestra plays.

I contribute. the far away cars, the last gentle autumn wind, the twinkling city lights, the swaying lake, the nostalgic moon, though none of us know of each other's existence, we all share a common melody. We play a piece of loneliness, and I, alone, can hear this song.

Yes, we play this song of loneliness but I am sure we do not play it alone.
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I wrote this fall of last year, yet tonight, for some reason, the feeling awakened in me once again. I do not know how to describe or even justify it. Though my days are constant with companions, I almost feel like something is lacking.

I search for something more.

The tasks I have set before me are daunting, and they require all of my ever inconsistent strength. They offer me the diversion I seek from this feeling I want, but they never fulfill it.

Perhaps, I shall pray to God, for His grace is enough for me, but somewhere in the back of my mind, I always wonder...